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Mustaches: All fun and games until you go to an interview with one.
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This post was reblogged from Keep Your Clothes On.
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The Dalí
There are certain mustaches that once done, no one should try to emulate. The Dalí is one of them. Why bother? Your Dalí’s always going to be compared to Dalí’s Dalí. And quite frankly, your Dalí will never be as good as Dalí’s. So just stick with the catfish.
Comfort Zone: Surreality and Austin, TX
Difficulty Level: Incomprehensible
Fun Fact: Dalí once said in an interview (in the third person), “Dalí is immortal and will not die.”
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I don’t know much about Lord Likely, but I do know that I’m in love with Lord Likely’s Extra-Ordinary Inter-Active Mustache-O-Rama.
If only styling your mustache was this easy.
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The Father-In-Law
Though it looks like a frown, it isn’t. It just follows the shape of his mouth. Which happens to be a frown. He’s frowning at you.
Man Scale: 6
Intimidation Scale: 8 (If you love your wife. 2, if otherwise)
Fun Fact: He’s judging you from the other room. Be on your best behavior.
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I ate a place called Austin Java a couple weeks ago with a few friends. Never before have I had breakfast quesadillas, but afterwards I was left wondering why nobody else serves them. Because they’re the best things I’ve ever had.
Anyway, at Austin Java (located in Austin, TX), the guys standing behind the counter and the guys bringing the breakfast quesadillas to the table all had mustaches. And it was all waxed, combed and curling.
They were handling my food and they had thick, full mustaches. Was I, at any point, worried that their mustache hairs might fall into my quesadilla? No. Mustache hairs never fall out. Ever.
Some people in New York, however, seem to disagree:
For people preparing food and drink, state law requires that beards, sideburns, and mustaches be protected by a “mustache net.” However, in recent years, a trend toward aggressive nostalgia in the hospitality industry has encouraged whimsical mustaches at the expense of hygiene.
Of course it’s just an April Fool’s Day joke. Because everybody knows no hair net will be able to contain a real man-stache and no “mustache net” is needed for a boy’s peach fuzz.
DPH Mustache-Net Crackdown in Cobble Hill [via]
Thanks, Luis, for the tip.
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The 5-Star General
Similar to when walruses show their dominance over other walruses on Walrus Island by the size of their tusks, Generals would show dominance over their troops with their mustache.
Man Scale: 8
Status: Extinct
Did you know: President Eisenhower was a 5-Star General in World War 2. No manstache, though.
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Shane Battier of the Houston Rockets is growing out his mustache and won’t shave it until the team does better as a whole (Houston Press).
Shane Battier, his mustache and the Rockets then went on to beat the Trailblazers.
Respect.
Getty Images and artist’s rendering of Battier in April 2010 at the Finals.
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You now have the opportunity to have your pretty face Cardboard Mustached on Twitter by Twibbon. I’m telling you, everybody is doing it. But only me so far.
http://twibbon.com/join/Mustaches-for-the-Masses-2
Join the cause! Or wait till November (Movember) when it’s more relevant. Though prostate cancer doesn’t wait.
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The French Waiter (Top)
The Mon Dieu! (Bottom)
Not to be confused with the Handle Bar and the Dali, the French Waiter and the Mon Dieu can often be seen on the French and possibly people from Quebec.
Man Scale: 3
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Somebody asked me, “Cardboard mustaches. Everybody’s doing it. Everybody’s doing it? Like who?” To which I replied, “Everybody.” They didn’t believe me. So I did a Google search for “Cardboard mustache.” If not everybody was doing it, then how do you explain this?
I rest my case.
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